In a move that stunned AFL fans and confused gridiron enthusiasts, Collingwood Football Club head coach Craig McRae has officially promoted veteran midfielder Scott Pendlebury to the new role of “quarterback” — before tendering his own resignation in an emotional (and mildly chaotic) press conference.
McRae, fresh off guiding the Magpies through a tumultuous but spirited season, made the announcement outside the AIA Centre flanked by Pendlebury and a visibly perplexed club mascot.
“It is done,” McRae said, echoing what many fans called a cryptic but final phrase. “Scotty has led from the center, but it’s time he leads from the back… with vision, with guts — like a quarterback.”
Confusion quickly followed as AFL does not, in fact, have a quarterback position. But McRae was resolute.
“We need innovation. The AFL is evolving. We’re going to trial a quarterback system. It’s radical. It’s Pendlebury. It’s poetry in motion,” McRae added before dramatically handing Pendlebury a letter — his own resignation.
Pendlebury, a 36-year-old stalwart of the game and Collingwood’s games record holder, accepted the letter with the same calm composure that has defined his career.
“I… honestly don’t know what to say,” Pendlebury said. “Craig’s been a mentor, a friend. I thought this was a prank. I didn’t even apply to be quarterback.”
Sources inside the club revealed that McRae had been toying with the idea after binge-watching American football documentaries during the off-season and becoming “very inspired.”
“We’re going to revolutionize ball movement,” he said. “Long bombs, structured plays, offensive lines. The works.”
Club Response & Future Plans
Club President Jeff Browne issued a statement shortly after the announcement, urging fans not to panic:
“Coach McRae has made an indelible impact at Collingwood. While we are surprised by today’s events, we thank him for his passion, creativity, and — whatever this quarterback thing is. The board will meet immediately to discuss next steps.”
Pendlebury, now officially listed as “QB1” on the club’s internal roster, is expected to lead training tomorrow. When asked what his first plan as quarterback was, he replied, “Probably to figure out what a quarterback does.”
As for McRae, he left the press conference smiling, boarding what onlookers described as a “suspiciously American-looking” van with a clipboard and a full whiteboard of plays.
One thing is clear: in a league where tradition often reigns, Craig McRae’s final play was anything but ordinary.
Stay tuned for more updates on this developing story — or possible sports genre mix-up.